Acquire Skills and Knowledge, Not Material Possessions

I’ve always been impressed by people who possessed great skills*, or were pursuing things that would reward them with great skills. The ones acquired from years of studying a serious hobby like drawing or bread baking. This is why whenever I meet someone new I always ask them what they do for fun — how they spend their free time**. Their answers usually reveal whether they have (or will have) great skills or not. If I think they are doing something worth pursuing I tend to find myself imagining what it would be like if I were doing it too. I imagine the new skills I would have as a result of doing the activity, and it puts a warm smile on my face and gives me a strong sense of bliss. In general, pursuing and acquiring new skills (and, hence, new knowledge) have always made me a lot happier than buying and owning material things.

I’m not too sure exactly when I began feeling this way. I would like to claim that I was born this way, but I have a good hunch that I wasn’t. Plus, I would be giving myself too much credit for seeming like I’m natural at kubo living. I think there must have been a turning point, but it must have occurred so slowly that it wasn’t noticeable to me. However, I do remember the moment when I became more attuned to what I’d already been feeling for the longest time.

One afternoon I found myself lounging in a room with a couple friends of mine at the computer science department. Finals week was approaching and we were taking a break from studying and preparing for exams. My friends and I were having conversations about things that were of great importance to us at the time — as undergrads about to graduate from university. Naturally, one of the topics became about our job prospects and earning potential. My friends began discussing how they’d spend a million dollar salary if they were ever so lucky as to earn one. They were fantasizing about things like having big houses in nice areas, owning exotic cars, and buying fancy vacations. One of them was saying how he would make a trip to Vegas as often as he could to party with the pretty babies by the pool (I won’t lie, this one did sound fun). Just as I had been thinking really hard about how I would spend such a salary, they finally asked me what I would do with it. So I told them what I really thought. I’d still be doing what I’ve always enjoyed doing, and those things don’t cost a lot of money. They were a little perplexed to say the least.

From that point forward I began asking myself why I couldn’t think of ways to spend money frivolously. I was actually afraid that there might be something wrong with me. Like maybe I was just a boring person with no imagination or, worse, someone with no real interests in life. Fortunately, I was able to pinpoint the real reason and it turned out to be a real good thing. I found that I truly enjoyed the act of learning and improving new skills more than buying and possessing new material things. I was delighted by this realization. I know that not everyone feels the same way but, to me, skill acquisition is a better pursuit than material acquisition for a few reasons.

One reason is that the process of learning and acquiring new skills develops your character (more so than, say, financing a new car). When I finally decided to learn Judo I was forced to enter a world I had previously known nothing about. I had studied a lot of different martial arts in the past (jiu-jitsu, wrestling, and boxing), but Judo was something different, and so I couldn’t just rely on my existing skill set. I had to develop new skills and improve them. To do so I had to commit a significant amount of time and energy every week to training and practice. I drilled movement patterns that were unnatural to me countless of times. I competed in many tournaments to test myself against other people. There were nights when I felt elated because it seemed like I was finally improving, like I might just know what I was actually doing for once… Only to be followed, soon enough, by feelings of frustration and sadness when I realize just how much I still did not know. However, by studying Judo I am earning great skills I can be proud of. So I continually push myself to become better skilled at it than before, and in the process I strengthen my character. Surely, nothing strengthens character more than forcing the mind and the body into doing something difficult — even through times when you don’t really feel like it.

Another great reason is that you can use the skills you acquired to give back to friends and family in a more meaningful way. My dad taught me how to cook when I was about 8 years old, and I’ve loved cooking ever since. I’ve used my home cooking skills to give back to the people I value. As a way of showing my great appreciation I had my Judo coach over at our kubo for dinner last month. My Judo coach (who is in his late 70s now) is a pretty hard man, but I noticed how excited, appreciative, and touched he was when I invited him over for a night. We enjoyed juicy and tender steaks, baked potatoes with butter, steamed broccoli with salt, and homemade dinner rolls, along with warm conversations and each other’s company. I could have chosen to buy him a gift or offered to take him to a nice restaurant. However, I probably would have ended up buying him something he didn’t really need or something he wouldn’t really enjoy. And going to a restaurant wouldn’t have probably felt as special as welcoming him to our kubo for the first time — to share the delicious food prepared entirely by Kubo Queen and me for the occasion.

Also, the skills and knowledge you acquire become an intrinsic part of who you are. They augment your personality and identity for the better. At that point they become things that cannot be taken away from you so easily. And the greatest part is that the more you use them the better you become at them, because skills and knowledge tend to improve as they are used. In contrast, most material possessions tend to break down over time. The most reliable cars, even when properly maintained, will still need to be replaced at some point.

Now I don’t think people who choose to spend their nights and weekends pursuing skills and knowledge are inherently better than those who don’t. I’ve known people who were skillful and knowledgeable at many things, but I would not be caught in a bar drinking with them since they had an unkind personality. I also think relaxation is important to people’s well-being, especially if they have stressful work and domestic lives. And buying and owning things isn’t inherently a bad thing for people to do, especially if they truly need them or truly receive significant joy from them.

However, I think far too many people put too much importance on material possessions and their acquisition. They are too focused on the things they can own rather than the things they can learn how to do. There is a different way. Rather than fantasizing about the things you can own, fantasize about the cool skills you can learn instead. Rather than asking people what they do for a living (and, by extension, how much money they make), ask them about the serious hobbies they practice in their free time instead. You might find yourself impressed by other people’s skills and knowledge. You might realize that simply buying more and more things will not make you significantly happier. I did. And that is why I’ve focused my life on acquiring skills and knowledge, not material possessions.

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* When I say great skills I mean those that are gained from a serious study of hobbies such as: dancing, piano playing, chess playing, essay writing, poetry writing, drawing, painting, baking, cooking, gardening, woodworking, and so on.

** I am more interested in what they do in their free time rather than the type of jobs they have. This is because jobs are closely linked to making a livelihood, which means they might have a job that is unfulfilling or does not align with their true values. For example, I had a nice sweet friend who had to strip at nights while she was in college to make ends meet, and she kept doing it even though there were times she was treated really badly. There’s a bigger chance that the activities they do in their free time are their true passion and, hence, tied to their true values.