When I was in my early 20s I believed in many things that were not true. I thought the amount of money someone earned was in proportion to how hard they worked. And since earning a good income is associated with having a pretty comfortable life, I thought the people who were struggling just weren’t working hard enough. I also believed, at the time, that we reward the most money to people in careers that gave back to society the most. It seemed that the engineering and the medical fields gave the highest salaries to people. Thus any other endeavor (like the arts, the pure sciences, or the public services) was ipso facto suspect, unless it had just enough graphs or maths that the average person found difficult to comprehend, like statistics or physics. I also thought we all had the same opportunities in life. So if you were not making at least $50,000 a year past your 20s then it must have been your fault. You simply did something wrong. The result was that I believed the good comfortable life I had achieved thus far was simply due to my own actions. But I realized that this is simply not true.
As you might know by now my family immigrated here to America when I was 11 years old. Luck number one. We left a pretty poor country because my parents believed that there were more opportunities here in the United States. I was lucky because it’s true. There are more opportunities here than the country where I was born. I do not know what kind of person I would have become had we had stayed there. Perhaps I would have eventually found some success too. But maybe I would just be dead by now, as one of the casualties of Rodrigo Duterte’s war on drugs. I don’t know. However, I know for a fact that, among many other things, I wouldn’t have a computer science degree from an American university. I’m not sure how many Americans realize this, but a degree from an American university is recognized around the world. Consequently, it’s relatively easier for me to get a good paying software engineering job in any other country I want to live in. And I wouldn’t have all the luxuries this degree would grant me. Like being highly employable for years to come. I got lucky. It’s pure luck because I didn’t choose to move here, my parents did. And I was extremely lucky to have parents that had ties here in the first place. To put it simply, I won the ovarian lottery.
My family had good values, they loved me, and they wanted to see me succeed. Luck number two. We were not rich. Actually, we weren’t even middle class. I know that when the time comes, I will not really inherit anything. My parents didn’t have an easy time here. My dad worked the graveyard shifts at the supermarkets and gas stations. My mom was a housekeeper for a large hotel. These aren’t the most physically demanding jobs out there, but I imagine they were more exhausted after their shifts than I will ever be after writing some code on the screen in my cubicle. And the biggest reason why I was able to have a job that isn’t as physically taxing was my parents. I went to college because my parents expected me to. They greatly valued higher education. In their mind, getting a college degree was the most important thing I could strive for. They thought that it would open up good opportunities for me. They thought it would allow me to land a good paying white-collar job. They thought it would give me a good secure life. So my brain was wired to value higher education from a young age.
While I was finally attending college my brother let me live with him for free. Luck number three. I didn’t have to pay rent, and I was not responsible for any bills. I’m sure that there were times when he was annoyed by this, but he never really nagged me about it. I think, in his mind, it was okay since I was still doing something important — attending school. This really helped me focus on my classes, which were difficult enough. I’m not that bright, and so I cannot even imagine working a job to support myself while trying to do well in my classes. In fact, I do not think I could have graduated without his support. My family always looked out for me. People don’t have the ability to choose the type of family they’re born into. I got lucky.
In my first year of college I met someone who was a lot smarter than me — Kubo Queen. Luck number four. Along with my brother’s generosity, Kubo Queen is the other big reason why I was able to graduate with a computer science degree. The technical skills and knowledge needed to get through the degree didn’t come easy to me. And it was Kubo Queen who had the brains and the patience to break it down for me. Whenever I needed help with some complicated technical details she was always the first one who I reached out to. It was as if I had my own private tutor for free. And whenever I had doubts about my ability to finish the degree, she was the one who encouraged me to keep going. I could not have graduated without her help. I was extremely fortunate and lucky to have met her. Again, it was just pure luck. I was just in the right place at the right time.
Now let’s get this straight. I also worked pretty hard to get to where I am right now. Yes, I did get extremely lucky so far. However, I still had to act on the opportunities that were given to me. Ultimately, it was on me to make sure I didn’t mess up and throw the opportunities away. I’ve gotten to know quite a few fellow immigrant children who had families that worked hard to give them a good future. Unfortunately, some of them took a liking to illegal drugs and got involved with the local gangs. These were things that I could have also easily gotten into, but chose not to. Having my brother and Kubo Queen’s help during college was not enough. It was me who had to put in the actual work to pass my classes and graduate. Also, I know that one of the biggest reasons why I’m able to pay off my student debt so quickly is that I landed a job with a pretty good salary. But it was me who chose to put over 70% of my salary towards paying off my debt. This is in contrast to many new grads who choose to inflate their lifestyle and take on even more unnecessary debt upon getting their first real job. I did get lucky. But I made the right choices and took the right actions too. It was the combination of both that got me to where I am now.
At this point of my life I feel quite comfortable. I am able to pay rent and other essential bills every month. I am able to put food on the table. My student debt is about to be paid off. Kubo Queen and I have a pretty good chunk of cash for emergencies. We’re able to contribute to our retirement accounts regularly. We’re able to get treats when we want them. It’s weird, but I feel like I have it kind of easy. I don’t hold some powerful position at work. I’m not a millionaire. I don’t even have a six-figure salary. But I feel so fortunate so far. I feel so lucky. I don’t know what’s in store for me in the future. But I’ll take this moment and cherish it. I thank my family and Kubo Queen for giving me a fair shake in life.
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